The idea of doing less makes me think it's a misconception. You're still doing something. It's just something different. You're upholding your boundaries. You're resting. You're recharging. You're honoring yourself. All these things can also be effortful -- omg so effortful at times. It's just different and caring for yourself. It's still doing.
The idea of doing less as an intentional strategy instead of by running out of time/energy/f's/money is SUCH a revolutionary insight! What comes to mind is: don't get clothes that need ironing or special washing instructions. Also, with grieving a lot of things jump to the can't handle list from the normal list. Trying to be thoughtful about what activities I actually want to return to has been interesting. Mostly, less has been so much more. Same with the pandemic actually. Love meeting for a walk or hike with one or a few people over 8 people at a restaurant. One gives you breathe, nature and thoughtful conversation and the other a hole in your wallet and banter in a noisy environment. Glad you got a real month off. I bet you had organized staff into labor groups by the time you left the resort!
I love this. Tricks that come to mind, which run the gamut from actual "quick tip" to "thing I spent a lot of time on in therapy":
- I don't schedule meetings before 10am. Those morning hours are mine to do whatever I want (usually I use them for sleep). Remembering that rest is an act of political resistance in our late-stage capitalist hellscape helps with this.
- Breath exercises whenever I start to get squirrely output-focused brain. 4-7-8 is my go-to.
- Reading How To Do Nothing by Jenny Odell gave me lots of wisdom in this area. I actually can't remember any of it right now but still have the feeling of how important it was. I know she went on lots of walks and learned about birds.
- It's been an ongoing journey to continuously internalize that my self-worth is not based on productivity or efficiency or achievement or really DOING ANYTHING AT ALL. I'm just worthy because I exist. And so are you.
The idea of doing less makes me think it's a misconception. You're still doing something. It's just something different. You're upholding your boundaries. You're resting. You're recharging. You're honoring yourself. All these things can also be effortful -- omg so effortful at times. It's just different and caring for yourself. It's still doing.
The idea of doing less as an intentional strategy instead of by running out of time/energy/f's/money is SUCH a revolutionary insight! What comes to mind is: don't get clothes that need ironing or special washing instructions. Also, with grieving a lot of things jump to the can't handle list from the normal list. Trying to be thoughtful about what activities I actually want to return to has been interesting. Mostly, less has been so much more. Same with the pandemic actually. Love meeting for a walk or hike with one or a few people over 8 people at a restaurant. One gives you breathe, nature and thoughtful conversation and the other a hole in your wallet and banter in a noisy environment. Glad you got a real month off. I bet you had organized staff into labor groups by the time you left the resort!
I love this. Tricks that come to mind, which run the gamut from actual "quick tip" to "thing I spent a lot of time on in therapy":
- I don't schedule meetings before 10am. Those morning hours are mine to do whatever I want (usually I use them for sleep). Remembering that rest is an act of political resistance in our late-stage capitalist hellscape helps with this.
- Breath exercises whenever I start to get squirrely output-focused brain. 4-7-8 is my go-to.
- Reading How To Do Nothing by Jenny Odell gave me lots of wisdom in this area. I actually can't remember any of it right now but still have the feeling of how important it was. I know she went on lots of walks and learned about birds.
- Embracing imperfection, big and small! Figuring out the minimum version I will be happy with and doing that—which is built on knowing that my minimum is still REALLY GOOD... Also perfectionism is white supremacist (https://www.whitesupremacyculture.info/uploads/4/3/5/7/43579015/okun_-_white_sup_culture_2020.pdf)
- It's been an ongoing journey to continuously internalize that my self-worth is not based on productivity or efficiency or achievement or really DOING ANYTHING AT ALL. I'm just worthy because I exist. And so are you.
A few pat phrases to go with my rapidly aging resting bitch face for saying no to things I don't want to do or places I don't want to go:
- "It's not convenient (for me right now)."
- "What?"
- "I can't make it-have fun!"
For doing tasks that I have put off (e.g. when my laundry pile has started to off-gas):
- Pretend I will literally be paid a million dollars if I do it.
- Set the timer for 30 seconds and tell myself I can stop after (a great inertia buster).
- Hear my mom's slightly exasperated voice saying "It will just take five minutes!"
Let me know if any of these work for y'all! xo